Many of us go through our lives with a rough plan or goal of where we want to be, then one day we actually take the time to look at the big picture and see something seems to have gone wrong along the way. We may not be unhappy about how things are but in the back of our mind, we know we’re not content with where we are now.
Our life has somehow caused us to stray off course or we realize we never really had a definite plan towards life, to begin with. At this point, we face some pretty big issues and the possibility of change. But then again, do we want to change? That sounds pretty scary. What if by changing, we lose what we have already got?
5 KEYS TO MAKE SURE YOU ARE CONTENT WITH LIFE IN YOUR 40s
LOOK DEEP WITHIN YOURSELF
A huge chunk of the population, in fact, most people have been faced with this dilemma. I know I certainly have, on more than one occasion, and it’s scary because you don’t always know what’s around the corner. So, if you’re in this situation, you have to analyze where you’re at and make a decision on what the price of change is worth to you.
Every person has their own set of unique circumstances and considerations to make, so there’s no standard plan of attack, though I’ll address a number of actions worth considering.
ASSESS YOUR OVERALL FEELINGS
Firstly, I think it’s important to assess your overall feelings and emotions regarding where your life is currently at. This is probably the most important step as your overall level of happiness or lack of, plays a role in every area of your life.
If you’re waking up and dreading another day at work but consider you’re very happy with your income, you’ll need to weigh up whether your unhappiness in your job is really worth the good money you make.
Constant or long-term feelings of unhappiness eventually lead to stress and stress can lead to serious illness, in both your mental and physical bodies. If your health declines, often every area of your life is affected and really, is any amount of money worth feeling chronically unhappy or depressed?
If the opposite is your case and you love your job, but the money is poor and you have no ability to save or have little money in reserve if you need it, you have to look at where you’re headed. In this case, at least you’re happy, and that’s a great place to be. But if you’re worried about the lack of money you’ll certainly be facing some sort of change.
Perhaps you look at an avenue to restructure how you receive your income doing what it is you like, but in any case, you’ll need to take action.
ADDRESS THE SITUATION AND MAKE THINGS RIGHT
If you’re in a relationship that may be good but not as good as you’d like, this is another challenging situation. Do you leave and face the possibility of being alone which may seem like a less than ideal solution or on the other hand, open yourself to the possibility of finding someone that’ll really make you happy. Or do you stay in your current relationship that isn’t great but at least you’re safe?
I was in this situation with a girl I had been seeing for a few years, and things were generally quite good, but deep down I wasn’t happy. So after careful consideration, we broke up, and although it was painful at the time, it was most definitely the best thing I could have done. And when faced with this situation again, I already know the solution.
I don’t think it’s healthy for either side to stay in a relationship if one or both parties are not completely happy with the long-term prospect of staying together. As I mentioned before, every situation carries its own unique set of issues, especially if you have kids. However, once again, the situation needs to be addressed or things may deteriorate further.
ACCEPT THAT CHANGE IS INEVITABLE
When you have gotten to the point where you feel a change is needed for you to reach your goals or find a deeper more fulfilling sense of happiness it may require you to take a step backwards instead of forwards.
This takes real courage, but the sense of empowerment you achieve from this will certainly give you the confidence to make definite forward progress in the pursuit of your new goal.
For example, if you’re not happy with your current career but know of something that you enjoy doing, you may take a significant pay cut to start your move in a new direction or you may need to become re-educated in a new skill and this again takes courage as you ponder whether it’s the right thing to do.
However, if intuitively you feel it’s the right thing for you and you feel good about the decision from within, I’d say you are taking a leap in the right direction. I’d be wary if any of the big change I was going to make did not feel right from my gut instincts.
FACE YOUR FEARS
Facing your fears is the only way you’ll overcome them. If you avoid dealing with your fears head on, they’ll only gain more power over you, and over time, you may find yourself in the horrible position of your fears becoming bigger or more overwhelming than you can deal with.
Release the past, understand it has no power over you, and you only give it power by thinking about it. You’ll gain empowerment, and this allows you to create your own positive future. Likewise, you don’t have to fear the future as it hasn’t happened yet. The only point of power you have over the direction of your life is right now, in the present moment.
With a solid intention and a belief in yourself, you can have whatever it is you want to achieve by taking the action steps today, or right now. Don’t waste time thinking about what might happen in the future due to your previous mistakes in the past.
Understand that you’re wiser from your experiences and do what you know you have to do to get what it is that you really want. As you see things beginning to change for the better, this will undoubtedly give you the confidence to keep moving in the right direction till you reach your goal and then move towards the completion of your next goal or plan.
TAKE ACTION AND MOVE FORWARD
It’s up to you to take action and move forward. It takes courage and perseverance to make a change and move in a new direction in life, but the alternative of staying stagnant is, even more, riskier as you’ll see the years flying by.
Your situation will not stay the same as you may think it will if you don’t make a change, it’ll only get worse by not facing your fears when you know it’s time to do so. Your fears will grow and consume you, paralysing your mind and eventually your body. This is because you can’t separate the mind and body, they’re intrinsically linked.
Chasing security is perhaps one of the most mentally dangerous things to do as you know yourself once you reach a certain goal, no matter how long it has taken you to achieve, it’s in our nature to simply want more and more. There is nothing wrong with that. It’s our achievements and the hardships we endure and conquer along the way to success that continues to give us the drive to keep moving forward.
You may have heard the saying “A change is as good as a holiday”. This is a positive and constructive way to face change. If you’re fearful of change you only make things unnecessarily hard on yourself.
Humans as well as everything in the universe has been evolving and changing throughout history, it’s the law of nature, just as the seasons and the weather are forever changing. It’s simply not natural to stand still or resist the inevitable.
Instead, embrace change and move forward towards true happiness and when you do face your fears, you’ll realise there’s nothing to fear but fear itself. Fear is not real, it’s just an idea in your head. When you do walk your true path, it’ll be the path of least resistance, and you’ll be amazed at the wonderful opportunities life has in store for you.