Can You Truly Overcome a Broken Heart? Yes, You Can!

Breaking up with a long-term partner can be devastating. Actually, let me rephrase that — breaking up with a long-term partner and having your heart broken is probably one of the most devastating events in a person’s life. Splitting up with someone after a short relationship can also be upsetting, but having your heart broken is something else entirely. Can you overcome a broken heart?

When this happens, there’s usually a low point that’s so much lower than anything you’ve ever experienced before that. And often, you’ll feel like you literally have nowhere to go. In this article, I’ll share my own experiences and address a possible goal plan for those who reach this awful low point and give some ideas on how to overcome a broken heart.



What has prompted me to write this article is I have a friend who is suffering from his first ‘real’ experience in overcoming a broken heart after recently breaking up with his long-term girlfriend.

My friend, I’d like to mention, is the type of guy you’d meet for the first time and instantly assume he has the world at his feet. He is very popular, he exudes a quietly confident demeanour, is well dressed, exercises regularly and looks very fit. Also, he speaks well and never uses profanity. He has always been faithful to his girlfriend and is financially successful.

So he really has a lot going for him, but right now, he’s a mere shadow of his usual self while he deals with overcoming a broken heart.

Without going into any detail about his personal affairs, the straightforward reason he broke up with his girlfriend was not due to anything overly dramatic, they simply grew apart after years together, and their relationship just wasn’t working any longer.

He told me from a logical standpoint that he accepted the situation was inevitable. But from an emotional standpoint, it has absolutely crippled him, he has completely lost all confidence in himself in every area of his life.

It’s already been a month since they parted, but he still can barely eat, sleep and finds going to work and dealing with other people extremely difficult. These are all classic symptoms of overcoming a broken heart.

He told me recently that he had broken up with other girls before and felt sad, but never before in his life has he ever felt anything like this, and he really feels at this stage that he’ll never recover from his heartbreak.

Overcoming a broken heart can be one of the greatest challenges you’ll ever face. Anyone who has truly had to deal with overcoming a broken heart before will undoubtedly be able to sympathise with what my friend is going through and understands this is a very difficult time.


During my 20s, I thought I had my heart broken quite a few times after splitting up with a number of different girlfriends, but I was in for a very rude awakening. After spending a few years with the same girlfriend, we broke up and overnight, my whole world collapsed around me. I became entangled in the overwhelming emotional pain of overcoming a broken heart.

Throughout my life at that point, I had previously lost a very close family member, a couple of my friends had died, I had lost my job before, I had periods when I had no money, but none of these depressing events even came close to overcoming a broken heart. It felt as though I had my heart ripped out of my chest.

And the more I analysed the situation, the more I came to the conclusion my life was doomed. I could see no way out of the infinitely deep hole I was in.

I remember telling my mother that I’ll never get over this and feel like I’ll be living in this zombie-like state for the rest of my life. My mother assured me that although she understood how terribly miserable I felt at the time, I wouldn’t only get over it in time, but the experience will make me a stronger person in the long run. I didn’t believe her at the time, but yes, you guessed it, she was right like mothers usually are.

My broken-hearted sadness seemed to go on for eternity and none of the usual things I enjoyed doing or spending time with my good friends ever seemed to have an uplifting effect anymore.

I started to wonder whether overcoming a broken heart was an impossible task. I started dating other women, but that didn’t help because all I ever thought about was my last girlfriend, so after several months eventually I made a plan.


Instead of spending time wallowing in my own self-pity, I decided to focus on what I really wanted out of life. At this stage, all I wanted was to be happy again. I didn’t really care about the future. That can come later. And all I wanted was to wake up and feel happy and have something to look forward to. So, that’s exactly what I did. I made a plan and set goals to get me back on the road to happiness once and for all and deal with the pain of overcoming a broken heart.


The first part of the plan was to stop thinking about the past. I had no control over the past and whenever I thought about it, I felt miserable. So, I got a short but clear mental movie image or visualisation in my head of how I wanted my life to be. Then, I got into the habit of playing this mental movie in my mind whenever the demons from the past entered my thoughts.

It took a while for this to become a new habit while I was still overcoming a broken heart. But after a few weeks, I spent much more time thinking about what I wanted instead of thinking about what I didn’t want.

Wow, it was starting to work, and I could just see a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. I aimed for this when I started to get back to my usual routine of working out, spending time with friends and going for long walks.

Exercising is a great way to clear your body and mind of all the built-up negative energy by pumping fresh blood through your system and washing all those depressing emotions away.


I can only speak for myself regarding this delicate and emotional topic of how to overcome a broken heart. But at the time, the words of encouragement from my family and friends just didn’t help. Sure, it was nice to hear, but it didn’t have any effect on making me feel better.

When you’re suffering from a broken heart, it doesn’t help to jump into bed with someone else. That might feel like a short-term solution, but it won’t transpire into a positive long-term result. You need to go inside, into your own mind and face your fears. Face the pain, knowing that many others have been through this before you and come out on top.

As easy as it is for me to say, things will get better. You’ll get over it; it is the truth. And if you can clear your pain for just a moment, you know intuitively that this is true. Overcoming a broken heart will make you a better and more resilient person, there’s no doubt about it.

In hindsight, when I look back on that period in my life, even though it was many years ago now, I do remember how painful it seemed at the time and while I learnt to deal with my broken heart. However, my mother was right, I didn’t just get over it, I became so much more emotionally stronger than I could ever have hoped to be if I had never gone through the painful experience of overcoming a broken heart.

I have had other breakups with girls I have seen for various lengths of time since, but never again did I ever feel like that. Now I’m married, so I have a whole bunch of other stuff to deal with. Just kidding. Love you, Sweetheart!

A broken heart not only strengthens you emotionally, but it also makes you a better and more compassionate person. Although I wouldn’t wish the experience on anyone, it’s probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me.

And yes, it’s easy to say in hindsight when I’m no longer in pain, but I’m grateful to have gone through a broken heart and come out on top. After you overcome a broken heart, you feel as though you could do just about anything.


Anthony Hill

When you put together the sum total of my 30 years of bodybuilding training, the contests, the vast array of diets I have experimented (tortured) myself with as well as the experiences I have been through with various training partners in the gyms I have trained in all over the world, it’s been a great ride and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Over the years, I have been fortunate enough to be able to do lots of personal training for private clients alongside my day job. For a few years during my 30’s, I moved to Asia and worked as the Fitness Manager and head personal trainer at one of Thailand’s leading gyms in Bangkok. Learn More

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