Enforcing some tough love may be the only way to teach someone about learning self-discipline as hard as it may be to do. When I say tough love, I’m referring to loving someone so much that by not helping them may be the only way to truly help them. Tough love is the only form of love you can really give when someone refuses to help themselves. Sometimes, you just can’t help someone who won’t make the first move to help themselves.



Learning self-discipline is something many of us achieve as time passes and as we move from one of life’s experiences to the next. In general, we learn about self-discipline from an early age as we overcome life’s challenges day by day.

We need to face many of life’s problems on our own two feet since if our parents simply take care of our mistakes along the way, how we will ever move forward and make positive progress in our lives through facing our responsibilities and administering self-discipline whenever the need arises.


Although tough love is something we often have to give to children and teenagers, this isn’t always the case. Perhaps your wife, a close friend, your boyfriend or even a parent is in self-destruct mode and will not help themselves.

Your only option may be to give them a dose of tough love and, hopefully, this wake-up call or what seems like rejection from you in their darkest hour may be the catalyst to bring them back to real life and away from the hell they have put themselves in.

We all make our own bed in life and we all deserve what we get. Sometimes, we get to a place that seems like hell. But if we’re unprepared to change our ways, how can anyone really help us.


When you know someone who’s an addict of some kind, whether it be an addiction to drinking, drugs, gambling or anything else, if you don’t give them tough love, what else can you really give them? Of course, you can tell them you’ll be there for them if they let you. But if they refuse to face up to their addiction and their own responsibilities in life, how can you help them?


I will not apologize for being so direct because I sincerely believe that tough love is the only answer to helping someone who will not help themselves. If you offer continued and ongoing support to someone in any way but they take your support and continue to hurt themselves which in turn only continues to hurt you both of you, you need to enforce some tough love.

It can break your heart to have to do this to them but if you don’t, you may end up allowing that person to ruin not only his or her life but destroy your life as well. Enforcing tough love may just be the hardest thing you ever have to do. But if someone will not learn self-discipline, you need to be disciplined enough yourself to walk away from them until they face up to their responsibilities like those who have learned self-discipline.


I was quite erratic at times when I was growing up and got into all sorts of difficult situations that were hard to get out of. This caused my parents untold grief and at times they didn’t even want to talk to me.

During these difficult times, I felt so alone but it was their tough love that allowed me to learn self-discipline and not only improve my circumstances but get back on my feet and learn to love myself enough to know I can do anything with a little self-discipline.

Those hard years are long behind me now and are not unlike what most people have to face as they grow up and learn lessons the hard way. I simply went through a difficult phase in my life that seemed like hell at the time. I realized that it was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. It also put me on the road to happiness and success.

Many of the articles I write about on this website are from my own life experiences since I know how hard life can be sometimes. However, without self-discipline, you’ll never get anywhere in life and you’ll certainly never be happy. I’m not a doctor, a social worker or a psychologist so I can’t say that enforcing tough love on those you care about will work for everyone but I can say it did work on me.


Anthony Hill

When you put together the sum total of my 30 years of bodybuilding training, the contests, the vast array of diets I have experimented (tortured) myself with as well as the experiences I have been through with various training partners in the gyms I have trained in all over the world, it’s been a great ride and I wouldn’t change it for anything. Over the years, I have been fortunate enough to be able to do lots of personal training for private clients alongside my day job. For a few years during my 30’s, I moved to Asia and worked as the Fitness Manager and head personal trainer at one of Thailand’s leading gyms in Bangkok. Learn More

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